Imperfect Perfection
This time of year, an estimated 85% of my Facebook friends have commented on some aspect of the end-of-school activities that are consuming their time. A recent FB status caught my eye.
Plonit bat Plonit is so proud that both her children had perfect attendance this year.
My heart immediately sank. Because if her kids had perfect attendance, it could mean only one thing: they had gone to school on Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur. The holiest day of the year.
By the way, before you go screaming that we shouldn’t be penalized for observing our religion, let’s take a look at the relevant section of the Education Code of the State of California:
(a) Notwithstanding Section 48200 [California’s compulsory education requirement], a pupil shall be excused from school when the absence is:
(1) Due to his or her illness.
(2) Due to quarantine under the direction of a county or city health officer.
(3) For the purpose of having medical, dental, optometrical, or chiropractic services rendered.
(4) For the purpose of attending the funeral services of a member of his or her immediate family, so long as the absence is not more than one day if the service is conducted in California and not more than three days if the service is conducted outside California.
(5) For the purpose of jury duty in the manner provided for by law.
(6) Due to the illness or medical appointment during school hours of a child of whom the pupil is the custodial parent.
(7) For justifiable personal reasons, including, but not limited to, an appearance in court, attendance at a funeral service, observance of a holiday or ceremony of his or her religion, attendance at religious retreats, or attendance at an employment conference, when the pupil’s absence has been requested in writing by the parent or guardian and approved by the principal or a designated representative pursuant to uniform standards established by the governing board.
(8) For the purpose of serving as a member of a precinct board for an election pursuant to Section 12302 of the Elections Code.
(b) A pupil absent from school under this section shall be allowed to complete all assignments and tests missed during the absence that can be reasonably provided and, upon satisfactory completion within a reasonable period of time, shall be given full credit therefor. The teacher of any class from which a pupil is absent shall determine the tests and assignments shall be reasonably equivalent to, but not necessarily identical to, the tests and assignments that the pupil missed during the absence.
(c) For purposes of this section, attendance at religious retreats shall not exceed four hours per semester.
(d) Absences pursuant to this section are deemed to be absences in computing average daily attendance and shall not generate state apportionment payments.
(e) “Immediate family,” as used in this section, has the same meaning as that set forth in Section 45194, except that references therein to “employee” shall be deemed to be references to “pupil.” [Members of the immediate family, as used in this section, means the mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, or a grandchild of the employee or of the spouse of the employee, and the spouse, son, son-in-law, daughter, daughter-in-law, brother, or sister of the employee, or any relative living in the immediate household of the employee.]
(Amended by Stats. 1999, Ch. 312, Sec. 1.)
Absence from school for the purpose of “observance of a holiday or ceremony of his or her religion” is an acceptable reason to miss school. It is, however, still an absence. Just as a child who stays home from school due to illness is still absent. These kids are guaranteed the opportunity to make up any missed work, but as they did in fact miss one or more days of school, are ineligible for a perfect attendance award.
Back to the “perfect attendance family, if recollection serves, these kids were in the congregation for the evening service. So they did, in fact, participate in some aspect of the Holy Day. But Yom Kippur observance ought to be more than putting in some time to fulfill…an attendance requirement. Right?
HH #272 — Tammuz Tidings
Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs — a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It’s hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term ‘Haveil Havalim,’ which means “Vanity of Vanities,” is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other ‘excesses’ and realized that it was nothing but ‘hevel,’ or in English, ‘vanity.’”
The first week of Tammuz is here and gone. Over at Beit Frummie, we had the last week of elementary school, the first week of mini-mini-camp for the preschooler, and the aftermath of not one, but TWO birthday parties. Thank goodness for some good reading to help keep me sane.
Take a look…
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Torah
This insight over at Chutz Mizeh was from April…but the message is as current today as it was then.
The Rebbetzin’s Husband wonders about calendrical issues in It Happened this Monday…Or Not.
Was the BP Oil Spill predicted in the Torah? See what Rav Shmuel Brazil has to say, via Parshablog.
Israel
Looking for something off the beaten path? Check out a new musical production of “Arsenic and Old Lace,” being staged in Talpiot. Or a tiyul in Carmel.
Israel is not in the FIFA World Cup (again), but the entire country is going crazy for all things soccer. Well, almost the entire country.
It is true that there are two sides (at least!) to every story. What happens when the media only shares one side of the story? Marilyn Stowe explores this question in Truth Comes in Black and White — and All the Shades of Grey In Between.
Remember what our friend Tevye says…on the one hand, on the other hand. RutiMizrachi has written a powerful post about Unity and how she expressed it…on one hand.
Ingathered takes a look at the reported humanitarian crisis in Gaza.
Yisrael Medad shares his perspective on Palestinian culture in Green-Lined, some media criticism, a Canadian version of the Helen Thomas story as well as a “Great Idea”.
College students: clueless as to how their own world is benefited by Israel. So how can they develop an informed opinion? Take a look.
Speaking of college, take a look at how a speech on a college campus became the undoing of Steve Bronfman’s blog and Facebook account.
The Flotilla and Israel’s Indomitable Spirit is a reminder that despite all the ugliness, we are still here. Mazal tov and b’hatzlacha to Artzeinu who ascends to Israel this summer! In preparation for aliyah, Artzeinu has been doing some reading and has discovered someone about whom I’ve written — Danny Gordis.
This week’s interview by Ilana-Davita is with QuietusLeo. He sounds like a lovely person, don’t you agree?
In Secrets and Lies I, Morey Altman takes a look at recent allegations that Israel and South Africa share a nuclear relationship.
Lady-Light shows how the U.N., and consequently the world, is sliding down the sinkhole-slope. She also comments on the failure of the Disengagement.
As if we don’t have enough tzuris, Esser Agaroth reports on the protests against the Supreme Court decision affecting the Emmanuel School . Batya has a different take on the situation.
Israel has an awfully bad reputation when it comes to bureaucracy. Batya shares her positive experience in Not the Nightmare People Expect.
Get the entire week’s wrap-up about Religion and Israel here and here (thanks to Joel Katz!).
ShilohMusings shares her perspective on Helen Thomas, Mel Gibson, and Obama.
Judaism
Izgad offers some thoughts on the implications of the very fact that one is living in a world where plausible intellectual challenges to faith can be raised in My Ironic Jewish Journey.
Right is right and wrong is wrong…right? Not so fast, reminds Chassidishe Farbrengen, in Chassidishe Discernment.
FriarYid takes a look at kiruv in Barking Kiruv Up the Wrong Tree.
Over at On the Fringe, Shira takes a look at Observing the Letter, Violating the Spirit of Halachah.
Have you made your summer plans yet? You might want to rethink them if Parshablog is right about this.
I share a special way to honour the Good Guys in our lives this Father’s Day.
Shul is a great place to rear children. Most of the time. Homeshuling looks at the behaviour of others and what she fears it is teaching her own children.
Melissa reminds us that outwardly appearances can be misleading over at Redefining Rebbetzin.
Culture
Worshipers of the Wooden Stick God, Repent! highlights what appears to be idolatry, according to Esser Agaroth.
Humour
Though not funny in the strictest sense, Lady-Light shares the latest parody from LatmaTV. Batya posted it over at Shiloh Musings too.
A graduation speech by Marjorie Ingall that is as insightful as it is funny.
Personal
Seraphic Secret shares reflections of the memorial lecture held in memory of his son, Ariel, z”l.
In the midst of her mourning, JaneTheWriter shares her mother’s ethical will. May her memory always be for a blessing.
On Behalf of Stepmothers Everywhere is Ima2Seven’s response to people who make assumptions about the relationship between a stepmother and stepchildren.
On a related note, Mirjam muses about different types of grandmothers in Step to the Third. And happy first birthday to The Crown Prince.
Our sacred journeys are meant to challenge us. Minnesota Mamaleh shares part of her journey in Spiritual But Not Religious.
Over at In the Pink, Hadassah wonders if she is really that gullible. What do you think??
Tammuz is here! Over at Meander, Batya shares her personal observance of the new month. She also shares a recent experience of being caught in the sandwich generation.
It’s important to know the wishes of loved one before they die. That being said, FriarYid had an awfully weird conversation with his folks on this very topic.
A couple, who desperately yearn to be parents, take a look at some hard questions in Adoption Advice Needed.
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And that concludes this week’s edition of Haveil Havalim. I hope that you enjoy reading these posts as much as I did!
Next week will be hosted by A Time of the Signs. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Haveil Havalim using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
Hi, Nancy! Hi, Helen!
“Mommy, why does that say phone?” asked Poppyseed.
“It’s one of those old-fashioned phones,” added Beernut.
“Oh, that’s a pay phone,” said the amused mother.
“A pay phone! You mean you have to pay to call someone?”
And for the next twenty minutes, I regaled them with stories about life before cell phones. The Princess phone of my teen years. The frustration of having to stay in one place to conduct a telephone conversation. Carrying change for a pay phone. Even what life was like for families, like their great-grandfather’s, who didn’t have a private telephone line in their apartment.
“What happened if your time was up and you didn’t have any more coins for the phone?” asked Poppyseed.
“The operator would disconnect the telephone call,” I said.
To which she proclaimed,
That is very rude.
The Greatest Gift
“With Father’s Day rapidly approaching, I am pleased to announce that all gifts have been purchased.”
This was my smug thought as I was driving into work this morning. It is a well-known fact that although Frume Sarah LOVES to select gifts for her dear ones, she often lacks the foresight to order them in advance of the occasion.
My mind then wandered, as minds often do, to last month’s maternal celebration. I remembered what we had given to PC’s mother and grandmother, but I had no recollection of wrapping anything for BubbeGiraffe.
“Ah yes,” I thought, “we participated once again in the Mother’s Day Flower Project, sponsored by Jewish Women International. It’s too bad that there isn’t a way to support their Good Guys program in a similar fashion.”
Not more than a few hours passed when I received an email from JWI with an invitation to thank the fathers with a donation that will be used to rear a new generation of Good Guys.
For those of us who are blessed to have wonderful dads in our lives, is there a better way to honour them? After all, how many ties can a Good Guy wear??
It’s all Greek to me
“What am I doing here?”
While waiting to deliver an invocation at a recent function, this is the thought that ran through my mind as I struggled to follow the conversation occurring on the dais. I have mentioned before that language does not come easily to me. I have learned that unless I pay very close attention to a conversation in a foreign tongue the sounds start to blend together into a multicultural cacophony.
blah…blah-blah…blah blahblah..RBI…blah…blahblahblah…blah-blah…blah…ERA…blahblah…blah BLAH blah…BA…blah-blah…blah…blahblah…
Suddenly, numbers, which make me dizzy in first place, were thrown into the mix, as whizzed past me at a ferocious speed.
blah…blah-blah…blah blahblah…99 RBI…blah…blahblahblah…blah-blah…blah…2.90ERA…blahblah…blah BLAH blah…0.256 BA…blah-blah…blah…blahblah…
At some point, the two speakers, whose names were completely unfamiliar, switched back to English as they shared stories, memories, and perspectives from their years in professional baseball.
I have it on good authority (thanks, JockBro) that Rollie Fingers and Harmon Killebrew are well-known ball personalities. You’ll forgive me but I’d be hard-pressed to come up with a dozen ball players and the guys on my list are BIG names.
Let’s see:
Pete Rose
Steve Garvey
Reggie Jackson
Rod Carrew
Mickey Mantle
Hank Aaron
Hank Greenberg
Sandy Koufax
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Shawn Green
Nope. Can’t do it.
So I smiled, tried to look as though I had a clue, laughed when others laughed and guffawed when others guffawed. As much as FrumeSarah can guffaw.
Here’s the thing: it was time well-spent. The event was organized by a member of our shul. The organization does some important work in our community. And an entire room of mostly-non-Jews learned how a short passage from the Talmud (Berachot 64a) can speak directly to the importance of building up our children.
Yes, time well spent.
Civics 101
BagGirl: What’d ya vote for?
FrumeSarah: stunned into silence
BG: I saw a lot of people had those stickers on today. What’s it for?
FS: The primary election.
…Blank stare…
FS: The governor’s race?
…Another blank stare…
FS: Senate seat?
…And again with the blank stare…
FS: Important ballot measures?
BG: Nope. No idea what you’re talking about.
FS: How old are you?
BG: Not old enough to vote.
And this is where FrumeSarah decided to seize the teachable moment…and give a brief (as brief as FS can be) explanation about the purpose of a primary election, as well as the need to participate in said election, in the middle of a very crowded grocery market.
Story is good for a chuckle until… Until you realize that this young woman is probably not alone in her political ignorance and civic apathy.
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Incidentally, when I arrived home, Beernut, who is not known for his powers of observations, remarked “hey, I see you’ve got one of those stickers.”
FrumeSarah: Beernut, you know that I had to actually vote to get one, right.
Beernut (rolling his eyes): I’m not an idiot, you know.
Just checking…
Sticks and Stones — the Follow-Up
So by now everyone has heard one of the following:
Helen Thomas RETIRING Effective Immediately
Columnist Thomas Quits as Remark Draws Flak
Helen Thomas Retires/Fired Over Anti-Semitic Remarks
However it all came down, Helen Thomas made some despicable comments and, whether by choice or by force, is now unemployed.
Which is just dandy because NOW the anti-Semites feel justified in their long-held belief that we control the press.
In the meantime, take a look at what Treppenwitz has to say. He makes some painful, and truthful, observations.
Sticks and Stones
In case you’ve been under a rock for the past two days, reports surfaced on Friday that famed WH correspondant, Helen Thomas, had been recorded making some anti-Israel anti-Semitic statements. At the Jewish Heritage Celebration held at the White House last month.
(If you haven’t seen the brief interview, take a look)
It is an ugly clip. Ugly because of the words, both spoken and unspoken, as well as the way in which Ms. Thomas relays them.
The reaction on Twitter has picked up on the ugliness theme. Yet, the tweets have focused on Ms. Thomas’s physicality rather than her vile speech.
Hearing someone who has been a respected member of the WH Press Corps since the end of the Eisenhower years spew such hatred hits us. It really does. And so let us react to the words. Call for her removal from the Hearst Corporation. Rejoice in the appropriate response from her speaking agency. Reject her pathetic excuse for an apology.
But don’t comment on her looks. It just cheapens whatever point you were trying to make.
There’s No Such Thing…Or Is There??
My smicha certificate does not mention the name of any particular synagogue. I was ordained to be a teacher, leader, rabbi of the People Israel. Not as the rabbi of Temple Beth Fill-in-the-Blank. And I really have taken that seriously throughout my years in the rabbinate, understanding Keiruv as the process of bringing people closer to Torah and God and the land/people of Israel. It shouldn’t be about bringing folks to one particular shul.
When I receive a phone call from an unaffiliated Jew seeking a rabbi to officiate at a baby naming, part of the discussion includes the value of synagogue membership. I explain that the bestowing of a name is much more than a public welcoming ceremony. And it ought not to be an event held to appease well-meaning relatives who insist the “you have to have a naming because that’s just what we do.”
A naming ceremony is a public declaration, on the part of the parents , of a promise. A promise to those who came before. A guarantee that the Jewish religion and culture they held dear will be transmitted to another generation. A pledge to this new life that he or she will be gifted with the rich heritage that is his or her inheritance as well as be reared in the midst of community. And a brit – an ongoing Eternal covenant – with those yet-to-come. That a vibrant Judaism will not be denied to them.
Synagogue affiliation is essential to the fulfillment of these promises. It provides a community in which a child can flourish. It provided a support system for the parents. A place to celebrate. To mourn. To learn. And to grow.
— This is all the preamble to the following situation—
Some years back, I did a naming for an unaffiliated family. And then another one. And… And after naming their fourth child, they joined our shul. A year later, for reasons never given other than it had nothing to do with us, they resigned.
Recently, I received an email from the mother that concluded with the following:
…I am hoping to name this child in the Jewish religion as well. We have been bad Jews.
Here is what I wrote in return:
We have really missed you guys. I hope that things are settling down for you all and that you have found a spiritual home that is the right fit for your family.
Her reply:
Hi. No we haven’t joined or even been to temple since we left….I am hoping you will name this new one even though we have been bad Jews.
“Bad Jews.” I used to recoil whenever someone used this phrase. I would rush to reassure them with a statement such as this:
No. There are people who do not make the best choices when it comes to their Judaism. But there is no such thing as a bad Jew.
And I believed it. Every word.
Now, though, I wonder if I have been wrong. What should we call a person who is ethical and moral but chooses not to observe Shabbat? A good person, to be sure. But no, not a good Jew. A person who withholds a Jewish education from his or her children is not a good Jew. One who chooses not to sustain the Jewish community is not a good Jew.
So now I am faced with a dilemma:
Do I name this child in the naïve hope that this family might reconsider at some point in the future and reaffiliate with a shul? Do I heed my deeply-rooted sense of obligation and name this child because, after all, would I want to be the one responsible for denying this innocent a name?
Or
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Do I respond that my time is filled meeting the needs of our congregants and (because I just can’t say no) provide the names of some of my colleagues who use the parnasa?
I am most interested in hearing your thoughts.
Paranoia…
Where has Frume Sarah been these past few days? With Israel the lead story the past four days, it seems unlikely that Frume Sarah has nothing to say on the issue.
And it is true. There is much to say. But I am having trouble gathering my thoughts. A sense of foreboding is holding me back. Keeping me up at night as I fret about Israel and how the world is turning ugly, refusing to recognize terrorism no matter how it’s dressed.
The scrutiny has fallen on Israel rather than those who were attempting to violate a legal blockade established four years ago by Israel following Hamas takeover of Gaza. The subsequent kidnapping of Israeli soldier, Gilad Shalit, and ongoing barrage of rockets into Israel proper have only served to reinforce the necessity of such a blockade.
Much of the information shared by the media is incorrect, misleading, and, in some cases, blatant fabrication. An individual’s support of the actions taken by the Israeli government is ultimately left as a personal decision. However, the reality is that Israel (and the entire Jewish community) is being vilified in the press. In an effort to educate our community, our local office of the Anti-Defamation League has provided the following talking points:
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Israel was responding to a deliberate provocation by a flotilla of ships seeking to break the blockade of Hamas-controlled Gaza.
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This was a premeditated provocation by the leaders of the flotilla. While proclaiming themselves to be motivated by humanitarian concerns, the Free Gaza Movement is comprised of long-time anti-Israel extremists who advocate using confrontational tactics against Israel. Organizers of the flotilla embarked on a course that put in danger the lives of those aboard.
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This loss of life is greatly regrettable and could have been prevented had the activists refrained from violence. The IDF forces had no choice but to defend themselves from the violent onslaught.
The Government of Israel and the IDF made repeated attempts to avoid confrontation with the flotilla. The IDF repeatedly radioed the ships and appealed to the group’s organizers to redirect the flotilla to an Israeli port, from where the goods and humanitarian aid onboard would be delivered to Gaza by established routes. The flotilla organizers, intent on sensationalist publicity and confrontation with Israeli officials, refused.
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The initial international reaction to the incident has the appearance of a biased rush to judgment against Israel. Some in the international community, the media and anti-Israel groups have drawn knee-jerk conclusions and made unfounded allegations about Israeli culpability before all of the facts about the incident have been gathered or learned.
Other informative sites:
Honest Reporting
CAMERA (Committee for Accuracy in Middle East Reporting in America)
MEMRI (Middle East Media Research Institute)
Stand with Us
This is just a starting point. Frume Sarah will be back with more to say later — b’li neder.
BTW, what humanitarian organization would bring expired medications to the very people they are meant to be helping??
As the Psalmist teaches:
Pray for the peace of Jerusalem; may they prosper who love you. (Psalms 122:6)
Frume Sarah is Shabbos-observant -- in a Reform way, that is. Please note that from Friday afternoons until one hour after sundown on Saturday evenings, Frume Sarah will be unavailable, in observance of the Jewish Sabbath.
Comments made during this time will be held in a queue, to be moderated afterwards.
Thank you for your understanding...and gut Shabbos!!! 
Frume Sarah's World 
