Sweeter that Sweet
It’s that time of year. Latkes. Sufganiyot. And…gelt!
That’s right. What would a dreidel game be without foil-wrapped chocolate coins in small, yellow mesh bags??
Most of us have had our gelt provided by the now-defunct now-renamed Elite company. The company merged with the Strauss company in 2004 and was renamed Strauss-Elite. Though Elite was sadly removed from the formal name of the company, it has remained on certain products, such as the gelt, due to its brand recognition.
What about this year? What if one is wanting to go or-GAN-ic for Chanukah 5770?
How about Trader Joe’s?
In case you can’t quite make out the text, let me help you:
Trader Joe’s Coins of the World are a valuable addition to any holiday season. A sweet derivation of traditional Hanukkah gelt, or money, these kosher-certified chocolate coins make great gifts for everyone on your list.
True to their international moniker, you’ll find US coins, Euros and Francs in gold, silber and copper foil. Give a gold mesh bag each night of Hanukkah. Play Santa and stuff them into stockings. Or, if Scrooge is more your kind of role model, buy a bunch and keep them all to yourself. At $1.99 for each four ounce bag, even old Ebenezer would be proud.
What?!? Santa? Scrooge??
There’s another route. What about Whole Foods?
Again, here’s the text in a legible size:
Divine Chocolate Milk Coins
Looking for greater gelt? Kosher certified, these are made with the finest responsibly traded cocoa butter, guaranteeing you a tasty advantage and cocoa farmers an equitable deal.
“Responsibly traded?” An “equitable deal” for the “cocoa farmers?” What the heck does that even mean?
OK — here’s the scoop. Most of the chocolate we eat? Comes to us by way of thousands and thousands of children forced to work on the cocoa farms. That’s right. Slaves. Enslaved children. We were once enslaved children…
So please consider taking a trip to Whole Foods and purchasing your gelt this year from Divine Chocolates. A company devoted to protecting the rights of those farms who engage in responsible growing practices.
[And special thanks to HomeShuling for bringing this issue to my attention.]
Attitude
A student in Beernut’s Religious School class had been absent for a couple of weeks when he inquired after her.
FrumeSarah: “Pearl” is fine, but she won’t be coming to Religious or Hebrew school anymore.
Beernut: Why not?
FS (tactfully): Her family has decided that they are going to take a break from shul for a while.
Beernut: Why?
FS (still tactful): Some families have different ways of being Jewish. Pearl didn’t like getting up early on Sunday mornings [Emes. This is what the father told us!]
Poppyseed: What?!? She can sleep in on Shabbat. You know…because it’s like…the day of rest.
FS: That is true.
Beernut: Will she still be coming to shul on Friday nights?
FS: No. Friday night is family night in Pearl’s family. They like to go to the movies together.
Beernut: You mean someone would rather go to the movies than come to synagogue on a Friday night and have fun??
Poppyseed: Yeah. The oneg even has better snacks than at the movies.
Beernut: And they’re free too.
Before assuming that my kids enjoy going to shul JUST because their mother AND their grandfather are rabbis, give them the credit that they deserve. They really enjoy attending services. We have never imposed shul attendance on the kids. Neither did we ever express any negative sentiments about synagogue. Such as “I guess I have to go to synagogue this Friday because it’s my grandfather’s yahrtzeit.” That kind of language sets a mindset that going to shul is a chore. A duty. A drag.
Don’t get me wrong. I believe that Jews should be in synagogue on Shabbat. I am not one of those rabbis who says “well, whatever you do every seventh day that is different and relaxing and special is just fine.” That approach certainly eases the guilt of one who knowingly dismisses the traditional Shabbosdic rituals. And while we ought to engage in relaxing and special activities, there is more to Shabbat than that.
But another generation of Jews that is reared to resent Jewish practices and see them as burdensome is a generation that will be yet one more step removed from those things which define us.
Like Pearl…
Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream…
Cue the dream sequence music:
Rabbi Laura Geller was our Scholar-in-Residence. As part of her presentation, she wanted me to put on a full-size tallit rather than the atarah style that I have worn since the day I became a Bat Mitzvah.
As Rabbi Geller became more and more insistent, I grew more and more agitated. I tried to don the tallit, but it was too large for me. No matter how I flipped it or folded it, I was drowning in the fabric.
“I just don’t feel comfortable wearing this,” I repeated again and again. “But you must,” insisted Rabbi Geller, “It’s the only way for you to really be an authentic rabbi.”
“You don’t understand. If it was up to me, I’d cover my hair with a tichel.”
A collective gasp from the crowd. Chaos ensued. And then…
Frume Sarah…the baby’s awake.
My relationship with religious garb is a complicated one. I wear a tallit when I am leading services because it is traditional for the shaliach tzibur to do so. If I am not leading the services, I wear my tallis if I am in a place where it is customary for a woman to do so. A woman is not obligated to fulfill the mitzvah of wearing tzitzit, but, according to a number of authorities including Rav Moshe Feinstein, z”l, is not forbidden to do so. However, not all liberal synagogues have adopted this custom. And although I love my tallitot (MomGiraffe created both of mine) and have been wearing one for nearly 26 years, I must admit that I am still not altogether comfortable with women wearing them.
As for a head covering, I have gone back and forth on this one. When I was in my first year of rabbinical school, I commissioned a couple of crocheted kippot to match the design that MomGiraffe has needlepointed on my atarah. Though I had never worn a head-covering before, I felt very strongly that a rabbi ought to wear one. I wore it when I prayed and I wore it during learning. But I never really felt comfortable. During the High Holy Days of my second year at HUC, the kippot went missing. Poof! Just like that, they disappeared. I figured it was a sign.
A few years later, I revisited the kippah issue but this time opted for a wire kippah. It felt more feminine. More me. Except…that it wasn’t really me. I still felt as though I was forcing myself to grow comfortable wearing something that was really male garb. And so, with no ceremony, just stopped wearing them a couple of years ago. On those occasions when I have found myself in a Conservative shul, I fish one out of my armoire because I just can’t put a doily on my head.
I find it interesting that I admitted, in the dream sequence, to a desire to wear a tichel. Not a sheitel, but a tichel. I have written before about my feelings about covering my hair with a scarf. To me, wearing a beautiful wig defeats the spirit of the law, though upholding the letter of it. (And I’m not the only one who feels this way.) Yes, a woman’s hair is technically covered by the wig which fulfills the problem of ervah (nakedness). However, today’s wigs look so real that one might not be able to tell that the woman’s head is covered. And that defeats the whole purpose. For most liberal Jews, this is not only not a big deal, but it is completely archaic and has no “relevance” to their lives. But I wonder what might happen if those of us in the liberal community started dressing more modestly? How would it affect our behaviour? Would our young people have a healthier relationship with their bodies? Would it positively influence marital relationships?
Thoughts???
All in Good Time
It is a darn good thing that Peach is a full-time student. Otherwise, he would have been off from school today. For parent-teacher conferences.
That’s right. The school is closed for conferences. Making a tremendous impact on those parents who work.
I understand the need for communication between the classroom instructor and the parent. I really do. But we are talking about a two year old. If my baby wasn’t meeting his developmental milestones or there was some other concern about his social behaviour, I certainly expect the preschool teacher wouldn’t wait untl four months into the year to mention it to me. In fact, Peach’s teacher, with whom I have a daily check-in at drop-off, thinks that a conference for a two year old is a bit over the top.
I expect our kids to take their education seriously. We take it seriously. One of us, in particular, sees education as a life-long experience and would have happily stayed in school had been an option. So this isn’t a reflection of any disinterest on my part. My disdain for a parent/teacher conference for the rugrat set has more to do with the current climate of parenting. Whatever happened to the carefree days of nursery school? Graham crackers, milk, fingerpainting, and naptime really do have an important place in a child’s development as a future scholar. The suggestion that a good preschool must have rigorous academic standards foists unrealistic expectations on our little ones. Is it any wonder that they arrive in Kindergarten with worries about benchmarks?
Childhood is so short. There will be plenty of time for conferences, academic assessment, and benchmark testing. Legitimate developmental concerns aside, let’s let our kids just be kids.
Success = 30 out of 30
She made it sound so easy, that Ima. Said that it would be a piece of cake. All I had to do was write 30 posts in 30 days. I wouldn’t exactly call it “a piece of cake,” but I am very pleased to report that I submitted one blog post a day during the entire month of November.
It created a great deal of pressure. But not the bad kind. It forced me to really observe each moment and each thought to determine if it was blog-worthy. I do admit that there were a few occasions where I resorted to techniques that got a post completed even though it wasn’t my best work. However, that is a typical approach to writing. Write daily. Doesn’t matter what you write. Or the quality. It is out of the practice of writing that art emerges.
I know that it would be wrong to promise to write a post every single day ad infinitum. Because I don’t know if I can keep that promise. So instead, I will commit to trying to write as often and as regularly as I can.
Stay tuned…
Please Read
Gilad Shalit. He was taken on Beernut’s sixth birthday. It has been just over three years and five months since he was stolen from his family. From his country. From his life. For three years and five months we have prayed for his safe return. A return with immeasurable costs.
A Soldier’s Mother puts the awful reality into words. Please read it.
A Wimpy Post
Would you believe that I have several post-drafts waiting in the wings?? But it’s late. I’m tired. I’ll be back in the morning for the final day of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month).
In the meantime, take in the sights of Haveil Havalim over at Torat Yisrael.
And the Ima is having a great giveaway just in time for Chanukah. Take a look.
Such a Treat!
I love Jews. I love old Jews. And young Jews. And in-between Jews.
And I especially love to be at a Jewish wedding that is attended by lots of young Jewy-Jews. Young Jews who enthusiastically participate in Havdallah. Jews who know the words to “Sisu Et Yerushalayim” and the different versions of “Od Yishama.”. Who bask in the unbridled joy of seperate gender dancing as they entertain the bride and groom.
It’s just after 11pm. The party is just getting started. Mazal tov Jessi and Yoni!!! May your blessed union build up the House of Israel.
It’s Policy
So PC’s Grandmother took a little spill on Wednesday. You may recall that she had a titanium rod inserted about 18 mos. ago to repair a nasty spiral fracture in her femur. This fall produced a slight fracture in her pelvis. A real pain in the …..
Anyway, with the kids at the aquarium with PC and PC’s dad, I had the freedom to head over to the hospital to sit with PC’s mom and the patient.
Thanks so the current influenza pandemic, hospitals have tightened their visitation policy.
Revised Policy
As cases of flu continue to increase in (our) County and elsewhere, it is important that we take appropriate measures to maintain a healthy environment for patients and staff in our hospitals. With this in mind, we have added new restrictions to our usual patient visitation policy.
Further restricting access to our hospitals and patient floors will help limit the risks of H1N1 and seasonal flu exposure and help protect everyone on our hospital campuses.
All visitors will be screened. If visitors display symptoms of influenza-like illness, they will be asked to leave.
Children 14 and younger cannot enter the hospital unless they are patients in active treatment or have appointments. This includes lobbies, dining facilities and common areas.
Hospitalized patients are now limited to no more than four visitors per day.
Exceptions may be allowed in extraordinary situations and on a case-by-case basis.
These restrictions are in accordance with guidelines published by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and are similar to policies now being enforced at most hospitals in the county.Though we understand additional restrictions on patient visitation will have some impact on you and your family, we hope you understand that our first priority must always be the health and safety of you and those in our care.
Thank you for your understanding and for helping us keep everyone safe and healthy during the flu season.
A solid policy. Cutting back on the number of visitors will most definitely lower the exposure the patients will have to potential carriers. However, the policy is dependent on the comptency of those charged to uphold it.
Witness Frume Sarah’s experience:
Security Guard: Hi. Are you here to visit someone?
FrumeSarah: Yes, I am. Room 403.
SG: A or B?
FS: It’s a private room.
SG: So is she in bed A or bed B?
FS: Um…there’s only one bed in the room. It’s a private room.
SG: So is the one bed A or B?
FS: Why don’t we call it…A.
SG (glancing at the visitor log): Sorry. She’s already had 4 visitors today. You can’t go in.
FS: How is that possible? She has only had three visitors today. I’m the fourth.
SG: Well, it says right here. You can call her on the house line.
FS: She doesn’t have a phone in her room.
SG: Well, I’m sorry but that’s the policy.
FS: I understand that is the policy. But I am down from such-and-such a county (about 90 miles north) and I am the fourth visitor she is expecting. Plus she is being discharged in about two hours.
SG: Ma’am, the log lists 4 visitors. M Frummie, W Frummie, S Frummie, and S Frummie.
FS: But there is only one “S Frummie” in the family. There must be some mistake. Would it be possible to speak with a supervisior?
SG: Sure.
Supervisor (appearing after just a few minutes later): Ma’am, we have a 4 visitor policy.
FS: Yes, and I completely understand it. However, there is mistake in this log.
Supervisor: There is no mistake. I was the one working the desk and I know how many names I wrote down.
FS: Yes, but I am wondering if you know how many people you saw. We only have one person by this name in our family.
Supervisor: Well, it seems that there are two. Our policy is 4 visitors, ma’am. That is our policy.
FS: Yes sir, I am familiar with your policy. The policy also states that decisions may be made on a case-by-case basis and so I would like to speak with your supervisor.
In the end, I was allowed to go up to the room. But with the understanding that NO OTHER EXCEPTIONS would be made.
(Which was fine given that (a) there are no other family members to visit her and (b) she really was being discharged!)
I know that all sorts of people pass by the security desk and that the security guards are following procedure. However, mistakes can be made. As was the case here. I asked to see the supervisor’s supervisor not because I was trying to get away with something or skirt policy. FrumeSarah loves policy! But I also knew that forcing the issue with the folks on the first line of defense was both pointless and frustrating for these guys. They were stuck enforcing someone else’s rules. So relieving them of the conflict ensured that they weren’t being put in a compromising position AND I would be able to speak with someone who could actually assist me.
I did, however, stop on my way out and thank the original security guard. He kept his cool and got me his supervisor, I appreciated the way that he handled things.
Intent
“Happy Thanksgiving.” That is the traditional greeting for this day. I have noticed, however, that more and more people have switched to a less formal greeting. “Happy Turkey Day.” And Frume Sarah doesn’t approve.
Sure, it would be easy to dismiss this as further proof that Frume Sarah is just some old fogey and is resistant to change. But when it comes to Frume Sarah, nothing is EVER that straight-forward.
“Happy Turkey Day” focuses on the food. It completely removes the essential meaning of this day; to give thanks. Certainly the original celebrants of this festival were much more in tune with the religious intent of devoting a festival to giving thanks to God. Going back to the 1620’s, the early settlers of this country recognized their good fortune as being a direct result of God’s intervention. Whether completing a successful harvest or surviving a harsh winter, they showed their gratitude with a festival of thanksgiving.
Though observed with some regularity through the years, our modern Thanksgiving did not become a Federal holiday until 1863, by proclamation of President Abraham Lincoln. I imagine, though, that President Lincoln did not imagine football games, Black Friday, and national gluttony.
And that brings me to my problem with “Turkey Day.” I do not understand the need to eat to the point of discomfort. Like an other proper Jewish housewife, I DO know that the mere possibility of a houseful of guests and not enough food is enough to send any woman into a dither. But there is a tremendous difference between enough food and an amount that could easily feed an entire village.
There are so many hungry people in our country. And it makes me crazy to know the amount of excess food will be served. And how many people will joke about being in a turkey coma. And how 39.8 million people in this great nation go to bed hungry, including 14 million children. As a mother, I cannot imagine the pain of sending a child to bed without dinner…not knowing if there will be any way to make the following day end any differently.
In addition to enjoying plentiful food, family, football, and friends, please consider relieving some of the burden of those who live in hunger.
Feeding America (formerly Second Harvest)
Mazon: The Jewish Response to Hunger
your community food bank
Chag HaHodaah Sameach — Happy Feast of Thanksgiving!
Frume Sarah is Shabbos-observant -- in a Reform way, that is. Please note that from Friday afternoons until one hour after sundown on Saturday evenings, Frume Sarah will be unavailable, in observance of the Jewish Sabbath.
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Thank you for your understanding...and gut Shabbos!!! 
Frume Sarah's World 
