Frume Sarah's World

Hanging right outside the entrance to the preschool, I was greeted by this banner.

Our JCC congratulates our preschool alumni accepted and excelling at prestigious schools!

For real. This banner is actually hanging outside the entrance. When I first saw it earlier this week, I burst out laughing.

First of all, alumni? These kids are like FIVE and this was preschool. And not an academic one at that.

As for accepted, nine of these schools are public elementary schools. They HAVE to take everybody.

I find it interesting that of the five private schools, the Jewish day schools were NOT listed first. An interesting statement coming from a JCC preschool. And I was saddened to see that Morasha Jewish Day School was left off of the list. (Especially in light of the recent announcement that Morasha will be closing its doors at the end of the school year as a direct result of the current financial crisis. This is a devestating loss to our community.)

The thing that just really got me is this idea that we have to pump up our kids’ egos at every opportunity. Preschool can be an important part of a child’s growth and there should be some way to mark the transition from preschool to kindergarten. It gives the kids some closure as they move from their little pond to the bigger pond. But graduation? Beernut’s graduation exercises were LONGER than my graduation from college. And not nearly as interesting.

And it is any wonder that we are seeing an increased narcissism in Gen Y-ers?

We see it in the liberal community with the contemporary Bar/Bat Mitzvah “ceremony.” Somewhere along the way, the Shabbat morning service was hijacked by the Bar Mitzvah family with all honours going to family members, parent speeches, and the glorification — dare I say the near-beatification — of the adolescent. Not to mention the prom-like celebration that follows.

Reaching the age of ritual majority is indeed worthy of celebration. However, as Rabbi Jack Bloom points out,

the not-so-subtle message that this is first and foremost a family celebration undermines the potent and useful message of Bar/Bat Mitzvah; the initiation of a young person into the Community Israel.

Rabbi Bloom offers a meaningful, if not radical, alternative to the current status quo. He envisions not a private graduation-type of event but an initiation ceremony that moves beyond the family simcha by placing it in the midst of community.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Initiation Ceremony

Rabbi: We now ask Mr. and Mrs. Yaakov Almoni to come to the pulpit and present their son/daughter who this day will mark his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah, to this Congregation in Israel.

Parents: Rabbi Gaon, it is with priide, joy and gratitude, that we present our son/daughter Ploni Almoni to this congregation in Israel ,that they may accept him/her on behalf of the people Israel as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Parents then share a few remarks (no more than 200 words) about the child.

If a talit is to be put on, the parents say:
We now place this talit on your shoulders. We pray that God may envelop and protect you all of your days. May Gods mitzvot be upon your shoulders, a comfort and joy, a challenge and commitment, always.

If no talit is to be put on:
We pray that God may envelop and protect your all of your days May God’s mitzvot be a comfort and joy, a challenge and commitment, always.

Torah and Haftarah readings.

The Rabbi speaks to the youngster and then steps before the ark to ask God’s blessing on him/her. After the blessing, the rabbi calls three congregants to the bimah, who act as representatives of the Congregation and the Jewish People. This adds to the congregational Kibudim, publicly declaring that this is a congregational event.

Representing the group of three, one says:
May the blessings of our rabbi and our people go with you always.

On behalf of this congregation, Congregation Fill-in-the-Blank duly assembled here this Shabbat, Parashat whatever, and the Jewish people, wherever they may be gathered in the worship of our God, we welcome you to a life of Jewish responsibility and commitment.

Our history is your history.

Our destiny is your destiny.

May your dreams be our dreams.

Kol Yisrael Arevim zeh bazeh — We are responsible for each other.

Together let us build the future of our people.

The parents rise for She-hecheyanu, which is now a response to their child’s initiation/induction ceremony.

In other words, within the context of a Shabbat morning worship service, is one ceremony with a clear beginning and an end, thus marking the Bar/Bar Mitzvah’s transition beyond membership in the family to full membership in the people Israel.

I find something about this so compelling. Perhaps I am drawn to the communal aspect of the transition from minority status to reaching the age of ritual maturity.

Any takers??