Slippery When Wet

Babies. Yes, indeed. Wiggly, slippery, silly little things.

Let me back up…

As I was enjoying a quiet motz’ei Shabbat last night, from out of nowhere it came. Or to be more specific, from the depths of Peach’s stomach. A deluge of vomit. Warm, sticky, putrid smelling. All over me. And all over our linens.

PC stripped the bed and I immediately set about the task of removing the stentch from my hair, neck, and face. By some small miracle, Peach was not only clean but happy too!

It took hours and hours for the mattress pad to dry. PC, whose many skills have NEVER included time management, thought it would be a waste of time to put sheets on the bed only to have to remake the bed once his beloved, cushiony mattress pad was dry. Did I mention how long it took the darn thing to dry? Having no more Law & Order:SVU or Criminal Intent episodes left on the TiVo, I figured I’d take the opportunity to catch up on the current political situation, turned on some talking heads, and promptly fell asleep on top of the unmade bed. Sometime around 1:00am (I think??), PC came in with the newly washed and dried sheets (and mattress pad!) and we got to work. Which took twice as long because my coordination is not so sharp after being woken so abruptly in the middle of the night.

So today…off to a slightly rocky start with a really awful diaper requiring immediate bath for the Peach-ster. After that, Peach was really, really tired. And I’m still battling this bronchitis (although the meds seems to be helping a bit). So I took him to bed with me and we slept. And slept. And slept. I should have realized that something was up because Peach isn’t from the sleepers…

Bam! Got me again. In just under 18 hours, and with only two attempts, Peach has managed to perfect projectile vomiting. Only this time he wasn’t so lucky. He and I were drenched in it. It was like a repeat of yesterday. PC stripped the bed and I stripped the baby. Put him down so that I could get the shower going. He promply pooped on the carpet. Ay-yi-yi.

So I grabbed him and got in the shower…and that’s when I wondered if a wet baby was the motivation for Bon Jovi’s album, Slippery When Wet.