God Made Me Do It!

To say that I no longer recognize my sweet daughter would be a tremendous understatement. Something deep within her is changing. A surreptitious glance finds new angulation in her face. Light downy hair on her slender limbs. And a wild look behind her eyes.

Up and down. Up and down. Her emotions are reminiscent of The Cyclone — and not in a happy, carefree way. Virtually anything we say is met with escalating shrieks. Any attempt to leave her side reduces her to a hysterical, weeping rag.

Any parent of a pre-teen understands. But what is most disturbing is that Poppyseed is weeks shy of her fifth birthday.

Rubbing her back at bedtime last night, I quietly broached the topic.

“Poppyseed, it really seems like something has been upsetting you lately.”

“Mama, I don’t know what’s happening to me. God is making me do it.”

“Really, Poppyseed?”

“Yes, Mama. When grownups were little kids, they feel a little crazy ’cause God makes us that way. She made me do it.”

While blaming God isn’t all that different than blaming a Twinkie, I will not argue theology with a 4 year old because I cannot authoratatively state that she is wrong. In fact, I often suspect that my kids — like ALL kids — have a deeper understanding of the Divine than we do because societal expectations have yet to dampen their innate spirituality.

Standing between toddlerhood and childhood, Poppyseed is correct when she observes that something is making her feel a little crazy. The trajectory from infancy to adulthood is not one straight shot. As dizzying as the emotional ebb and flow is for her parents, it is even more confounding for Poppyseed whose general disposition was once so lighthearted.

Patience. And understanding. And love. And time. These will help us teach Poppyseed that as crazy as everyone sometimes feels, only we are responsible for our own actions and reactions.

…and maybe a good children’s therapist???

****************************

And for her incredible contribution to this week’s Tuesday Torah, you MUST read the Ima. I think I wanna be her when I grow up…