Rational Irrationality

Rationally I know that it cannot happen. But when your child is sick, ration goes out the window.

As the mother of one child on the autistic spectrum, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I am constantly watching my other children for signs. Signs that they are “normal.” Signs that they are “not normal.” Signs that something just not right. Or that they have missed a developmental milestone. And even though they have both been evaluated, I still worry.

I know that children with autism are born with the disorder. It is not catching. It is not caused by vaccinations. It just…is.

But as Peach just lay in our arms last night, listless…the mind went to some bad places.

I knew that it was the result of the fever. A baby doesn’t have 105.2 temp (and yes, that was rectally for all you medical people) and not seem out-of-sorts. But it was scary all the same. He alternated between silent lethargy and moaning the entire drive to Children’s Hospital.

The diagnosis? Strep throat. And after four doses of Cephalexin, glimpses of the Peach we know and love have returned. His temperature was still up and down today, but never above 103.4.

We are tired. Bone tired. Emotionally tired. PC and I never spoke of the “what if” because it’s just too hard to visit that place together.

For now, Peach is sleeping away in his cozy crib. And we are relieved.

And very, very thankful.