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Letting Go

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Mom, can you help me?

What it is that is being asked?
Is it “Mom. I’m not sure how to do this?”
Or “Mom, can you do this for me?”
Or possibly, “Mom, I’m not ready to be the big kid and still want some reassurance that you are still available for the hard stuff.”

So when Beernut approached me in the Chadar Ocheil (dining hall) with “Mom, can you help me?”, I panicked. Which question was he really asking.

“Nope,” I said, wondering how he would respond.
“OK.” And he walked off.

I presume that either he found the answer on his own or he suckered someone else into completing the task. Either way, I was not the middle man.

The process of growing up involves a great deal of growing away. Away from one’s parents and away from the safety of childhood. Sometimes, one can actually feel the tugging as the child pulls away. Unlike the more rapid process of leaving an actual nest, human development happens in fits and starts. Which is a good thing because it would be much more painful of a separation for both mother and child if it happened any more quickly.

Every once in a while, I remember that the main goal of parenting is to help our children grow and develop and leave us. And then I push that thought away so that I don’t cling protectively to my children. And then I sigh.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Wednesday, 14 July 2010 5:57 pm

    Good for you and great for the kid!

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Thursday, 15 July 2010 5:51 pm

      Thanks. I was shocked by his nonchalance. Somewhat thrilled by it as well.

  2. Wednesday, 14 July 2010 7:39 pm

    Sometimes these simple acts are the best! They sure are hard though to watch your kids struggle when you know you could do it in .2 seconds flat!

  3. Thursday, 15 July 2010 4:00 am

    We’ve had an empty nest for so long. It’s sad but good, because I agree that our role is the raise our children to be strong and independent, adults who love and respect us but build their own lives.

  4. Frume Sarah permalink*
    Thursday, 15 July 2010 5:54 pm

    I know what you mean. But I remind myself that childhood is filled with tiny moments of growth. Ones that only happen when we step back.

    Thanks for reading. Your mom’s jewelry is beautiful. I’ve been an admirer for years!

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