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Thursday, 14 October 2010

I waited anxiously, knowing that pretty soon I would be called up to light a candle. That all eyes would be on me. The Bat Mitzvah’s best friend. Everyone knows that the Best Friend gets to light one of the candles during the requisite “Candle Lighting Ceremony.”

Except at the conclusion of the rhyming ditty, it wasn’t my name that was called. It was some other girl’s. And suddenly I realized that I was not my best friend’s best friend.

That devastating moment has most certainly affected the way in which I guide students in regard to the thank you section of the D’var Torah they will deliver towards the end of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah service.

Which brings me to #FollowFriday (sometimes shortened to #FF). Leaving aside the logistical issue of Friday being the busiest day of my entire week, I rarely participate in #FF unless it is to thank others for listing me as one of the people to follow. Because no matter who I include, there are so many who are excluded.

Like with the candle ceremony…

8 Comments leave one →
  1. Friday, 15 October 2010 6:16 am

    fwiw: the modern equivalent to this is bridal parties.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Sunday, 17 October 2010 9:58 pm

      True. Doesn’t matter how old we are. Slights can still hurt.

  2. Saturday, 16 October 2010 9:50 am

    This experience with a candle lighting must have been really pretty awful. But the thing is that unfortunately such things happen not only during the wedding((( But in every-day routine we sometimes get to know that we may be not the dearest for our dearest.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Sunday, 17 October 2010 9:59 pm

      True. Relationships are so complicated. It was awful and, funnily, still smarts these many years later.

  3. Sunday, 17 October 2010 12:07 pm

    this is such a good point and a hard lesson to learn. i remember it well and don’t want my kids to *ever* feel it. that’s impossible though, right? *sigh*

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Sunday, 17 October 2010 10:00 pm

      Can’t imagine we’d ever learn the lesson without having the misfortune of experience.

  4. Wednesday, 20 October 2010 10:52 am

    Pardon my ignorance….what is #FollowFriday?

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Thursday, 21 October 2010 5:14 pm

      #FollowFriday is a way of recommending friends and contacts to other people on Twitter.

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