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Mommy Fail

Thursday, 3 March 2011

After two such productive, albeit long, days, I was completely unprepared for the way in which today unfolded. Especially given its auspicious beginning.

Everyone got up in a good mood, got out the door in a timely fashion, and arrived at his or her respective school with plenty of time to spare. I even had the pleasure of chatting with a friend at drop-off. Got to my day-off office (i.e. local cafe) and caught up on some writing. Ran a couple of quick errands. And just as I was thinking how smoothly today was running…

An email from the school. Explaining that Beernut was behind on his report and why it was his fault that he was behind. Except that according to his current IEP, the responsibility to help in these particular deficit areas lies not with special needs kid — but, in fact, with the school. It was the second such email in the past six days. And I’m in one of the “good” districts.

Now, I know that it is fixable. But it is sometimes hard to face each day, knowing that I must always be advocating for my kid. My kid who, by the way, keeps insisting that he doesn’t need an IEP and just wants to be a cool, awesome-looking, regular kid even though he is painfully aware that he isn’t really like the other kids.

I call PC, vent for a few minutes, and then try to let it go. Pick up the bigs and take them for our weekly lunch. During which time, I receive a message from Peach’s school, reminding me that tomorrow is his turn to be the Shabbat Star and that I could bring in a poster of pictures he can talk about and a book of his choice for me to read to the class. Festivities begin in the classroom at 9:15, followed at 10:15am by the Shabbat sing-a-long in the theatre.

Merde.

You heard me. Merde.

I had completely forgotten. (As it turns out, the teachers had also forgotten which is why the reminder came just over eighteen hours ahead of the start of school.) Well, no worries. I’ll just pick another week.

EXCEPT all of the other available Fridays are…unavailable. Of course they’re unavailable pipes up a critical, internal voice. I could, however, make a poster another week, bring it into class on a Thursday, do a mock Shabbat, and then Peach can participate in the Shabbat-Sing-a-Long the following day.

Which is when I decided (a) to just do the damn report for Beernut and (b) work on the poster AND completely rearrange my pre-Shabbos schedule in order for Peach to have his moment in the pre-Shabbat sun.

Before I am accused of being “that” mom, you should know that the above decisions lasted all of five minutes. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I can’t do it all. No one can. At least, no one can do it all, all the time, and on one’s own. While Beernut’s report doesn’t seem to be teaching him much of anything, other than drawing skills, he certainly has no hope of learning anything if I do it. Anything positive, that is. As for Peach, he’ll be just fine having me come in on a Thursday with a poster and book in hand, though no mock Shabbat. It’s hard enough trying to get the preschool set to understand that Shabbat doesn’t actually start at 10:00am on a Friday morning. Doing it a day earlier won’t help the cause.

A lot of time is spent at the crossroads between success and failure. Some days learn a bit more in one direction…

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Friday, 4 March 2011 3:37 am

    The title of this post is totally wrong. This, my friend, is a Mommy SUCCESS. Sparkly and shiny.

    And beautifully written.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Wednesday, 9 March 2011 11:36 pm

      What a perfectly wonderful reaction. Thank you, my bosom friend.

  2. Friday, 4 March 2011 5:49 am

    What Phyllis said.

    In this case, it is you who is the Shabbat star! 🙂

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Wednesday, 9 March 2011 11:36 pm

      Yay — I’m the Shabbat Star!!!!

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