This and That
Haveil Havalim
If you were one of the nearly two dozen who submitted posts this week, sorry to disappoint you. However, I am not hosting until October 3 5771. There is no edition this week because no one stepped up to the plate. In fact, as of right now, there won’t be another edition until October 3. We can’t expect Jack to fill in every time there is a need for a host. This is a busy time for everyone. So if you are too busy to help, don’t tell that to Jack. Because you are not the only one.
Sermons
Rather than force you to read my HHD sermons this year, you can find them here. If you are intolerant and hate-filled, the message is meant for you. And you won’t like it. And that is OK. The rabbinate is not a popularity contest.
Here I Am
HINENI by Rabbi Stanley Chyet, z”l
Here I am again
Without much to offer by way of moral worth
I’ve a rich collection of defeats
Maybe that’s to Your liking?
I don’t know, do You?
If I’m to be quite frank
Your likes and dislikes have never been all that clear to me
Presumably love is something You’re in favor of
And I’ve found it possible to love
But never without a certain anguish
Whether that’s the way You intended it
Or that’s a problem all my own
I can’t say, can You?
I’ve never wanted to pain others
I’ve never wanted to pain myself
I guess I could plead good intentions
But I needn’t tell You about good intentions
And the road…
I’ve often wondered: did You Yourself intend when You got it all going
that to live would be so complicated?
To find a way in the world so hazardous?
Did You have any idea at all
that living would involved such confusion
and such heartbreak?
I can’t be sure if this will mean much to You
I can’t even be sure that You exist as more than a figment of my own mysterious psyche
It’s a risk to open up to You
Who know, I may be branding myself a terrible fool
But what’s not a risk? What’s guaranteed to be foolproof?
So here I am again
Praying for some modest bravery
so that I can go on saying to You:
Here I am again.
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The Frummies wish you and your loved ones a year of health, prosperity, and peace.
Special Order
The past few weeks have been the beginning of the end. The end of diapers, that is. Peach woke-up a few days after PC went to PA for his new “colourful” job and declared that he was “ready to wear big-boy underwear.” Great timing, sweetheart.
He’s had his share of accidents, but overall he is doing a terrific job and would be considered day-trained. To stack the odds in his favour, however, he is still subjected to constant reminders from hovering parents. Parents worried far more about the upholstery than any latent psychological damage that may result in toileting accidents.
Which is all preamble to the following exchange:
Peach: May I have some milk…please?
FrumeSarah: Of course, but first, you need to go and use the potty.
Peach: WH-AT?!? That’s not on the menu.
Just wondering what might have been God’s reaction if we had responded that way…
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Also, you’ll find my latest Smartly post here. Feel free to comment over there 🙂
Chag Purim…er, L’Shana Tovah
Social Media gurus have been touting the use of video as a way of drawing in constituents. And the Jewish world has been listening.
Take a look:
But I cannot help thinking that these videos, while very appropriate for, say…Purim, are less effective at communicating the sanctity of the season.
Is Frume Sarah completely missing something here???
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Update: NFTY and Songleading wunderkind, Jeremy Gimbel, sent the video he produced for his shul. Frume Sarah heartily approves!
Immersion
Removing my contact lenses, I asked God to forgive me for all the times I had been blind to the pain of others.
Cleaning beneath my nails, I asked God to forgive me for all the times I had neglected to raise my hands to bring comfort to others.
Flossing my teeth, I asked God to forgive me for my words that had caused pain to others.
Combing my hair, I asked God to forgive me for not filling my head with enough Torah.
Scrubbing my skin, I asked God to help me shed those aspects of myself that act as a chatzitzah (barrier).
Seven steps between the “me that was” and the “me You help me to become.”
I take a deep breath. And plunge beneath the silken waters. Again. And again.
Stripping away, I hope, the hurts and the pains of the past year. The sorrows. The unrequited aspirations. And dreams that will soon be forgotten.
*Blessed are You, Eternal our God, Sovereign of the Universe, Who makes us holy by embracing us in living waters.
*used with generous permission by Mayyim Hayyim
Serenity on the Road
In addition to our monthly bulletin, our shul sends out a weekly message from the rabbi. I can no longer recall when we started this practice or what precipitated it, but it is now “tradition.” What is also “tradition” is that it is penned (typed, to be more precise) by BossGiraffe unless he is away. No specific reason for that either. Like so many things, we just fell into a pattern. It was suggested that we alternate and we had very good intentions to do just that as we moved into 5769. But you know what they say about good intentions. I fell ill with meningitis and…here we are heading into 5771.
Earlier this week, BossGiraffe said, “Hey, you’ve been doing a lot of good writing about Elul recently. This would be a great week for us to start alternating. Don’t feel as though you need to write something from scratch. Feel free to take one of your recent pieces and adapt it.” Deftly handled, BossGiraffe. Enveloping a request in a compliment. Totally worked.
And reworking something would have been a great approach except that I really wanted the opportunity to invite our folks to the S’lichot observance this Saturday evening (really Sunday morning). It is one of my favourite services of the Yamim Noraim. And that is saying something because I truly love these services. Always have. (That should have been a tip-off, MomGiraffe. Most kids pick Chanukah as their fave holiday, not Yom Kippur.) So start from scratch I did:
To live in Southern California is to spend a lot of time in one’s car. That is particularly true for our family. Between the distance between our home and the shul as well as coordinating the kids’ schedules, a significant portion of my week occurs in the car. Of all the drives I make throughout the year, I have an annual favourite and it is coming up. In the wee hours of Sunday morning, a bit after one o’clock ante meridian, I will guide my car onto a nearly-empty street. It is, without a doubt, the calmest and most serene moment of my entire year.
S’lichot. The service itself takes its name from the penitential prayers that are a part of the liturgy of this month of Elul. Sephardic Jews recite them each morning during the month of Elul. In most years, Ashkenazic Jews begin on the Sunday before Rosh Hashanah. If Rosh Hashanah should fall on a Tuesday or earlier, the recitation of the S’lichot begins on the Sunday morning of the prior week. The custom of holding the first S’lichot service just after midnight on the “Saturday night” is an American accommodation. Recognizing the people’s habit of staying up late on a Saturday night, the service was set at midnight as it is easier for them to attend at that hour than to get up early the next morning.
Several of the liturgical themes of the High Holy Days are introduced at the S’lichot service including the recitation of what is known as the “Thirteen Attributes.” Just after the Golden Calf incident in the book of Exodus, God’s thirteen attributes of mercy were revealed to Moses:
YHWH (1), YHWH (2), merciful (3) and gracious (4) God (5), slow to anger (6) and abounding in kindness (7) and faithfulness (8), keeping kindness for thousands [of generations] (9), forgiving iniquity (10), transgression (11), and sin (12), and granting pardon (13) (Exodus 34:6-7).
Three of these attributes are Names of God. How do they constitute attributes? Different names of God suggest different Divine characteristics. The name El is used when God acts in the capacity of Sovereign of the universe. The four-letter name of God, known as the Tetragrammaton, signifies characteristics of mercy. Why, then, is this name used twice? To show us, as the Talmud explains, that God is merciful both before one sins as well as after one sins.
For many, however, it is the strains of High Holy Day nusach (musical scaffolding) that make S’lichot the powerful preparation that it is. Melodies that have laid dormant for nearly a year are revisited as we prepare to approach God. Exiting the sanctuary in silence, wisps of music accompany me on my drive home. Creating my favourite drive of the year.
Apology
Dear Kids,
I want to apologize for today. I know that you were not happy to go to camp this morning. Something about my “stealing your last day of freedom” was how Poppyseed put it…
With Daddy only home a few times each month, the nanny giving notice, my work, AND that it is moving towards the end of the month of Elul, you guys had to go somewhere. I know you were disappointed though for the life of me, I can’t figure out what you thought you were going to do at home all day.
Having two working parents means that we rely on a support system of family, friends, and others to help care for you. Sometimes it also means that your plans (or desired plans) must be altered in order to accommodate our hectic life. Daddy and I know how disappointing this can be and we appreciate how hard (two of) you try to go with the flow.
Tomorrow is the start of the new academic year. The expectations rise with every passing year. We are really excited for all of the new skills and information that await you. As for your freedom, won’t you be looking forward to Shabbat now!?!
Love,
Your Mother
P.S. I’m also sorry that you ended up having “the best day ever” (Poppyseed) and “really a great day” (Beernut). Because it really weakens your argument in the future.
Choices
I cannot count how many times or how often I correct mein kinder when they mistakenly substitute the word “need” for “want.”
There is a difference between “wants” and “needs.”
Between that which we desire and that which are essential for our survival.
I say it to the kids…and now I say it to myself.
All day I have tried to figure out how to be at three places at once on Thursday night.
Question: Which is the most important event to attend?
Choices:
(a) “back-to-school night” for the THREE year old
(b) weekly dinner with PapaBear
(c) MOTweetUp* with a gaggle of folks I know via Twitter(*MOT = member of the tribe; Tweetup = a social gathering of people who use Twitter)
Review: the question is not which event I most desire to attend. Nor is it which event do I think is a complete and utter waste of time, but fear that I might be sending the message that I don’t support my kid’s education by not going to meet his teacher before school starts next week. A teacher who I already know, BTW. (And no, this attitude has nothing to do with the fact that Peach is the third kid. I had this attitude with my first.)
While I could make the case that my current state of Elul-stress would be greatly reduced by a night with my Twitpacha (mashup of Twitter and mishpacha), it really isn’t “essential for my survival.”
So, to my Twitpacha, let’s try again after Tishrei.
He’s Here, He’s Here, He’s Finally Here
One of the gifts of the Internet has been the relationships formed that otherwise would never have happened. Lest you fear that Frume Sarah’s social life exists only online, I should point out that each and every one of these online friendships have solidified through face-to-face meetings.
One such interaction occurred last April at A Celebration of the Jewish Picture Book at the Skirball Cultural Center, an affiliate of the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion. Among the speakers was Laurel Snyder, whose writing I had long admired since reading Half/Life — Jewish Tales from Interfaith Homes. Having corresponded with her over the past couple of years, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet her face-to-face.
Laurel was everything in person that she reveals in her writing; refreshing, clever, honest, and fun. She had with her an ARC of her then-latest endeavour, Baxter the Pig Who Wanted to Be Kosher. With great excitement, she let me take a look. That was it; I was hooked.
A pig as the protagonist of a book about kashrut? Unthinkable. Impossible. On the other hand, who better to walk the reader through the basics of the Jewish dietary laws as well as get a solid understanding of the joys of Shabbat?
And now Baxter is as close as your nearest bookseller (brick-and-mortar or online). Do not tarry.
Al Tistakeil B’kankan
A man drives up to a gas station and within moments, a scruffy-looking kid starts to approach his car.
“Wow,” thinks the man, “this kid has ….”
Kid: Hey.
Man: Hi.
awkward moment of silence
Kid: Is there something I can do for you?
Man: No-ooo. Is there something I can do for you?
Looking quizically at the man, the kid says:
Um, sir? This is a full-serve station.
You are SO not in SoCal anymore, PC.
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Check out this week’s Haveil Havalim over at Izgad.
Frume Sarah is Shabbos-observant -- in a Reform way, that is. Please note that from Friday afternoons until one hour after sundown on Saturday evenings, Frume Sarah will be unavailable, in observance of the Jewish Sabbath.
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Thank you for your understanding...and gut Shabbos!!! 
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