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Dread

Sunday, 28 March 2010

I am dreading tomorrow night. I’ve been dreading it for seven weeks.

I could fabricate all sorts of reasons why she wasn’t at services. Why we didn’t speak regularly on the phone. Why we didn’t visit one another.

But there is only one reason why she won’t be at the seder tomorrow night.

Deep down, I think I kept believing that if the seder didn’t happen, she must still be here.

I guess I can’t pretend anymore.

I miss you, Grandma.

************
My heart is filled with sadness for my friend, Jack, whose own beloved grandmother (Miriam bat Shoshanna) died this past week. Even in the midst of his grief, he pulled together Haveil Havalim. Please go check it out and leave words of consolation.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Sunday, 28 March 2010 7:01 pm

    {{{hugs}}}

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Sunday, 28 March 2010 10:24 pm

      Thanks, friend.

  2. Sunday, 28 March 2010 10:20 pm

    Tomorrow will be hard for so many reasons. But I wish you well and the chance to experience the lessons you learned from your grandmother. Though it may be bittersweet, I hope that the sweetness exceeds the bitter taste and feeling.

    Chag sameach.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Sunday, 28 March 2010 10:23 pm

      And the same to you. I was thinking I wanted to go to one of the shiva minyans for your grandmother…and then realized that your anonymity made that…well..impossible. So know that I am thinking about you, as I have all week, and most especially during this upcoming week. Which is going to be painful.

  3. Marsha permalink
    Monday, 29 March 2010 7:44 am

    I’m am sorry for the loss of your Grandma. Both my Nana and Bubbie have been gone for many years. I miss them both every day but as the years have gone by, my tears are less often and my mind and heart are flooded with wonderful memories of our time together. I was a lucky girl to have had two wonderful Grandmothers. Enjoy Passover and know she is with you, now and forever. ❤

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