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Tuesday, 11 January 2011

How are you?

More often than not, a social nicety. Part of the verbal interplay that occurs between people as they pass one another in the hallway or used to open a conversation en route to more “important” topics.

And rarely do we give a complete answer. We offer a non-committal “fine” or “good,” followed by “and you?” If things are anything less, we keep the details to ourselves. After all, why saddle anyone with what is actually happening?

Today, at a funeral attended by hundreds and viewed by thousands, I reintroduced myself to someone I knew from camp. “How are you?” Mikey asked.

“How are you?” What kind of question is that to ask at a funeral?

“How are you.” As Mikey taught me, perhaps there was no more important question to have asked today.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Keshet Shenkar permalink
    Wednesday, 12 January 2011 12:18 pm

    Very true–I think people generally just don’t know what to say.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Wednesday, 12 January 2011 2:24 pm

      True. In this case, Mikey pointed out that it was important for us to be honest and face how we were feeling rather than simply give a pat answer.

  2. Keshet Shenkar permalink
    Wednesday, 12 January 2011 12:20 pm

    Oh my gosh–I checked your link and I had no idea she passed away! How awful, she seemed like such a special person.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Wednesday, 12 January 2011 2:25 pm

      She really was. I encourage you, if you can find the time, to sit and watch the archive of the funeral service. The eulogies and musical tributes were achingly stunning.

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