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Left Behind

Monday, 19 March 2012

This is me.
All dressed up with no where…like, say BOSTON…to go.
In my kitchen.
Where you’ll find me daily.

[Ok…the picture isn’t exactly me. It’s meant to be a representation. But you get the idea.]

I’ve missed CCAR conventions before.
So why is this absence different from all other absences??
[Sorry…couldn’t resist the seasonal humour.]
On all other years, missing one conference was simply missing one conference; on this year, missing one conference reinforces my new reality.
That of a pulpit-less rabbi.

As a #JewInThePew, I no longer have a conference line. Apparently my newest job title, Chief Scullery Maid, doesn’t include that.
As a #JewInThePew, it might seem as though the only conferences I ought to be attending are this one. Or this one. Or even this one.
You know…where the sessions better align with my new-found skills and duties.

But strip away all of the outer trappings and what is left?
A rabbi.
It is the core of who I am.

The prospect of not attending another conference…
Perhaps that shakes me because it reinforces the denial of who I am. Or who I am meant to be.
Or who I think I’m meant to be.

Maybe I’m just missing my rabbi friends.

Remember when we were in Boston and we…
O.M.G-d. — the food in Boston was the worst ever.
The Mikvah Monologues were amazing…you should have been there.

How will I catch up?
The inside jokes will, as so many do, zip over my head. Or past my cheek.

I follow their tweets, Facebook updates, blog posts.

Living vicariously is not all it’s cracked up to be.

10 Comments leave one →
  1. Brianna Soloski permalink
    Monday, 19 March 2012 12:25 pm

    (((Hugs))). I know how hard it is to be away from friends, from what is familiar. I’ve lived in the same place for a long time and it still doesn’t feel like home.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Tuesday, 10 April 2012 9:49 pm

      Oh dear…

  2. Peter Stein permalink
    Monday, 19 March 2012 4:42 pm

    Miss you too!!

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Tuesday, 10 April 2012 9:54 pm

      לשנה הבאה בלונג בייץ” — בלי נדר

  3. Monday, 19 March 2012 7:48 pm

    Some of these first must be so hard… Sending you hugs.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Tuesday, 10 April 2012 9:55 pm

      Thanks, dear Jane. You are well aware of the firsts…

  4. Vered permalink
    Monday, 19 March 2012 10:53 pm

    Oh, Frume Sarah, I promise not to have nearly as much fun as I would if you were here.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Tuesday, 10 April 2012 9:55 pm

      Things just really aren’t the same when we aren’t up to our usual tricks…

  5. Thursday, 22 March 2012 12:47 am

    You can’t deny your core. “You gotta be you.” And you will figure it out.

    • Frume Sarah permalink*
      Tuesday, 10 April 2012 9:56 pm

      Thanks, L.

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